Saturday, September 13, 2014

Jewel had a good song for such a situation like this...

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.
I am so sensitive.
However, in being so sensitive, I am also very sensitive and empathetic to other people's feelings.
It goes both ways.
This is who I am!
I'm extremely hurt at somebody that I really care about right now (and that I thought cared about me) and I am resisting the urge to write a very upset email.
It won't do any good...those kind of emails never do any good. I have also tried that trick where you write a letter and rip it out. I have never found that to be helpful at all.
But right now, I am hurt and I want that person to know how very much they have hurt me.
I am also realizing that this person will likely not care at all if I tell them off.
A few years ago, somebody I was close to was horribly betrayed by their spouse. Somebody said to me that I must have felt stupid, considering I was always so nice to the spouse. (I'm nice to everybody.)
My immediate response was...why would I EVER feel stupid about being NICE to a person?
I would, however, look back and regret not being nice to somebody.
I still stand by that.
I can look back and think of all the intentionally hurtful things I have done in my life. I can't think of many times when I have actually done anything to hurt somebody.
I can turn off my light every night and know I was usually my nicest and most often did the right thing, and I'd rather be like me than like one of those people that can somehow manage going through life blissfully unaware that they have hurt someone.