Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I was pretty sure Ben Affleck was talking to me during his Oscar speech last month...

You have to work as hard as you possibly can. You can’t hold grudges—it’s hard, but you can’t hold grudges. It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, because that is going to happen. All that matters is that you have got to get up.

He really could have come-right out and said, "Hey, Diana Rissetto, I know you're out there watching this and sappy Oscar speeches are among your favorite things in the entire world, so this one is for you, since I know you've gotten knocked-down many times over the past couple of years, professionally/personally/romantically etc. etc. etc. and I KNOW how you tend to hold grudges sometimes and can't let go of people and memories that have really hurt you, and writers are hyper-sensitive and extra-emotional people (because Ben Affleck knows) but you just have to make like that Don Henley song 'Heart of the Matter' and let it all go, Diana, because you're better than that and capable of so many great things!"(He's such a good guy, that Ben.)

Ever since I had this conversation with my friend which I wrote about here (http://www.dianagolightly.blogspot.com/2013/02/maybe-hes-right.html), combined with Ben's speech, I've reframed my thinking a bit and a few things have happened once I stopped obsessing and worrying so much.

Last week, I saw somebody who pretty much broke my heart/sucked-out my soul/crushed my spirit/destroyed my confidence.

I did something Ben would have disapproved of, and I held a grudge regarding this person for years.

I would see this person about town and I'd hide, feel sick and let it ruin my night.

I would even immediately judge people who shared the same first name as this person.

But when I saw this person last week, I said out loud, "I'm going to go right over to him and give him a very warm hello. He doesn't own this city."

I did that, and, honestly, going up to somebody that hurt you that much and being kind to them and smiling (and not in a snarky way) is probably the hardest thing you will ever do...

...but it also makes you feel like you can conquer the world after you've done so.

If I can do THAT, I can do ANYTHING (and "anything" includes writing our generation's answer to Annie Hall.)

So, after I did this, and walked-off into the city night all by myself, I WAS kinda hoping that a sidewalk saxophone player would have appeared, playing "Heart of the Matter"  ("There are people in your life who've come and gone/They let you down, you know they hurt your pride/You better put it all behind you , 'cause life goes on/ If you keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside") for me, and imagined giving Ben Affleck a high-five, as I just kept going (what else can you really do?)

I tend to trip a lot in the street. I like wearing high heels, but I'm also hard on my shoes and they are always falling apart. (My mother constantly yells at me for that and says people will most certainly judge me for my shoes always falling apart. I'm sure she's right, but I just accepted a while ago that it is just my lot in life to never own a pair of shoes that don't fall apart).

I didn't trip that night (you know, after I high-fived Ben Affleck as my sidewalk saxophonist played Don Henley), but if I HAD tripped...I would have gotten right back up...because that's all that matters.

Diana Rissetto