Everybody (whoever "everybody" is) knows the running joke that despite my Italian last name, the crucifix dangling around my neck and the fact that I say things like, "I'm off to church now!", people always assume I am Jewish.
When I'm in public, I get approached constantly by Jewish people on holidays (there's this one where they hand-out something that looks like lemons to fellow Jews. I once had two young men trip over themselves to get to me), Jewish moms talk to me in the supermarket to tell me about their sons, and the other day, I was at a work event with a friend and a man asked me, of nowhere, "Do you go to Shul?" I said, "I'm not Jewish." He said, "...so you DON'T go to Shul?"
No, I don't!
On Wednesday, I wandered around waiting for Mass to start so I could get my ashes for Ash Wednesday. I walked past the NYU Catholic Center several times...they were handing-out fliers with information about their Ash Wednesday services.
They seemed to be giving fliers out to everybody but me.
They thought I was Jewish, didn't they?
On Jewish holidays, everybody thinks I am Jewish. On Catholic holidays, everybody thinks I am Jewish.
After I finally got my ashes, I walked over to meet a friend (who actually is Jewish...) and was stopped by a perfectly-cute-in-a-Justin-Long-kinda-way-but-he-was-smoking-a-cigarette-and-that-is-my-dealbreaker-guy.
He said, "Is it Ash Wednesday, ALREADY?" I nodded.
Him: See, I'm a Jew!
Me: (Laughs) Well, people always THINK I'm a Jew!
Him: Both of your parents are Catholic?
Him: So you're not Jewish at all?
Him: It's okay, though. Jesus was born Jewish, right?
Me: He was!
Him: So. What are your thoughts on the Pope?
It was terribly kinda cute. When we parted ways, I told him to have a nice Passover and then shook my head and laughed...did I really just get approached by a Jewish guy on Ash Wednesday who tried to use those ashes as a conversation starter? What kind of a Woody Allen cut scene is my life?