Thursday, January 31, 2013

Sometimes, there just aren't any words and a song does instead...

When you work retail, there are often songs that are played over and over and over again.

I have been working part-time in a clothing store for a few months, and a song called "Wonderful the Way I Feel" has been on the loop since then. The music is very pretty, and if you don't really listen to the lyrics, you can't really tell what it's about.

I actually listened to the lyrics today.

It sounds like it's about a man dying after a long, painful disease and going to a place where there is no pain. 

It's appropriate, given what has happened in my family this week. 

I have gone through more than my share of watching people die of long, painful diseases. My dad died when I was a junior in high school. He was sick for over a year. Four years ago, the man who was the closest thing I had to a dad, my uncle, met a similar fate. You get to the point where you just get so sick of watching people die.

Cancer SUCKS.

My cousin, who became my cousin nearly nine years ago when he married my cousin, died this week. He was only 38. He was given 3-6 months to live...and he fought and fought and fought. He had twins this year. He always had a smile on his face. I remember once somebody describing him as a young man out of another era, perhaps the 1940's. He and I definitely have that in common.

It's heartbreaking, and unfair, but I am so, so grateful that I was able to know, let alone be related to such a strong, inspirational warrior.  When I think about the smile that was almost always on his face, I realize that none of us have any excuses. Ever.

As trite as it is to say, "At least he's not suffering anymore..." he's not. And that's important. And he touched and inspired every person he met, and that is what matters, and I know his spirit will live-on in his beautiful sons.

I hope wherever he is, he's feeling wonderful. 


"Wonderful (The Way I Feel)"

It matters to me
Took a long time to get here
If it would have been easy
I would not have cared

Like a tropical forest
Like a cop on the beat
When all is in order
You get lost in the heat

I feel so wonderful, wonderful, wonderful the way I feel
I feel so wonderful, wonderful, wonderful the way I feel

Doesn't matter to me
I could take it or leave it
I could learn from way back when
And still live right now

With the sun on my shoulder
And the wind in my back
I will never grow older
At least not in my mind

I feel so wonderful, wonderful, wonderful the way I feel
I feel so wonderful, wonderful, wonderful the way I feel
So wonderful, wonderful the way I feel
I feel so wonderful, wonderful, wonderful the way I feel

I'm going where there ain't no fear
I'm going where the spirit is near
I'm going where the living is easy
And the people are kind
A new state of mind

I'm going where there ain't no police
I'm going where there ain't no disease
I'm going where there ain't no need
To escape from what is
Only spirits at ease

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