Sunday, March 18, 2012

An open letter to that person who really really hurt me...

I knew there was a chance I'd run into you the other night...and I was prepared for it. I was going to give you a very cheerful and pleasant hello. I wasn't going to let you see how much you had hurt me and, even though a lot of time has gone by, the way your actions have impacted my life.

I wasn't going to let it show.

I also wasn't going to throw a chair at you and tel you that I cursed the day you were born.

I was going to be the bigger person.

On my way over, I heard the Don Henley song "The Heart of the Matter." 

There are people in your life who have come and gone
They've let you down, they've hurt your pride
You gotta leave this all behind you 'cuz life goes on
You keep carrying that anger, it will eat you up inside
I kept those lyrics in my head and when I saw you, I remembered everything about you that made me feel horrible for years. I wondered why I would let somebody like you have such a hold over me and dictate the way I felt about myself for so long.

I kept replaying those lyrics.

The anger and hurt I was carrying around regarding you was doing nothing but eating me up inside.

I'm releasing you.

I didn't get to talk to you that night...but it's the thought that counts...and I really was willing to go over and say hello and wish you well...not because I wanted anything from you, but because it would have been the right thing to do.

It might seem miniscule, but seeing you and not wanting to cry or throw-up was a huge step for me.

I have to be happy with who I am...confident and optimistic and remember that there is no place for somebody like you in my life anymore.

But...hello. It's good to see you. Good luck.