I remember when I was a junior in college and my mom's friend wanted me to talk to her son. We were the same age and pretty much grew-up together. She said he wasn't sure what he was doing with his life, and she wanted me to talk to him since I was "so good with stuff like that."
Was I, really?
I didn't really know exactly what I was doing.
I always told people I was going to be a writer, and I remember when I made my off-Broadway debut in 2010 telling my former high school English teacher (who is today a good friend...just the way I work) that I realized how lucky and blessed I was to be doing what I always said I'd do. It was luck. It was blessings. I recognized that. Maybe people mistake that for me having my act together.
But I had no idea what to tell this other kid about what he was supposed to be doing with his life. I felt as completely lost as he did!
The other night, I got a text message from a very old good friend from high school (and junior high, for that matter). We catch-up every so often in person. Her text said that she was freaking-out about nothing working-out, about ending-up all alone, what if she was too picky and would be alone forever, what if she already REJECTED the right guy and would never have another chance...etc.etc.etc.
I called her right away (it's hard to have heart-to-hearts over text message). After telling her that I have MANY of the save fears and I wasn't sure if that made her feel better, but she wasn't alone in her fears, I ended-up saying something which is probably the wisest thing I have ever said.
"NONE of us look at ANY our friends and think, 'She's going to be alone forever!'...So....WHY do we look at OURSELVES and think that?"
There was silence...
And then my friend told me that that made her feel a lot better.
Hours later, another friend (also another fabulous girl, as all my friends are) called me and we ended-up on the same topic.
I told her the words of wisdom I had shared with my other friend a little while ago.
Once again, the friend told me how right I was and how she never really thought about it that way...but that it made her feel a lot better.
Maybe I AM a good person to go to for advice, after all...
I wish we wouldn't all worry so much! I wish we weren't so hard on ourselves. I wish we treated ourselves with all the love and respect and admiration we treat our friends with.
How much easier would life be if we did???