Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Job-hunting is the hardest job in the world...

I will never forget my first job interview out of college. (And that's saying a lot, because I have gone on, roughly, 135,993 job interviews over the years.) It was to work for a children's publishing house. I remember how warm and lovely the building was, the big deal the two people I met with made over my resume, and how I went shopping right after it because I knew I'd need work clothes soon. I called my mother, so excited.

I knew I was getting that job.

I didn't get that job, or the dozens and dozens of jobs I went in for after it. It took me almost two years to find a full-time job out of college. Turns-out, I sounded wonderful on paper and had absolutely no problem getting interview after interview after interview. Even most of the interviews went really well. I got second interviews with the same companies. I had people showing me my cubicle and asking me when I could start.

I even once had somebody shake my hand and said, "Welcome Aboard!"

(Yup. Never heard from them again.)

Finally, I found a job. And I was laid-off from that job. Three months later...I find another job...yup, laid-off again...a month later, I landed where I would stay for three years and where I saw myself staying for the long haul.

And then...(fill in the blanks.)

This last lay-off was particularly heart-breaking. I loved my job. I felt like (most) people I dealt with loved me back. I was a part of a community I wanted to be in...and then it was taken away from me.

For the past three-and-a-half months, I have been looking for a job.

And, as in the past, I have no problem getting job interviews.

I had one that I would have absolutely loved about a month ago, and never heard from them again, despite the woman raving about what an incredible energy I had and that she knew I could do the job with no problem. She told me she'd let me know if I got the job either way...and I haven't heard from her.

Insert another (smaller) heartbreak.

Jobhunting is capable of sucking the life out of you. I feel my spirit breaking, as it did in my past three jobhunts.

I keep reminding myself that it seems like I always end-up exactly where I am supposed to be, have adventures and experiences I was meant to have and meet people to turn-out to be friends that I can't imagine my life without if I tried.

I am waiting for that to happen again, and I really hope it's soon.

Until then, I have a black dress, a strand of pearls, some nice wedge heals perfect for lots of walking and copies of my resume all set.

Diana

Master of my Own Domain

Yes, these last few months have been pretty frustrating and soul-crushing.

It's really easy to blame all of your problems on another person, and I do indeed blame one particular person for those of the past few months. I mean...the majority of my pain and frustration can be directly blamed on this other human being. It's a fact. Anybody close to the situation would agree...it's a fact. It's his fault.

I've been opening-up to few people about this situation and one of my friends has been particularly supportive, and I couldn't be more grateful that he hasn't written me off as a raving lunatic yet.

The other day, he told me...

There has to come a point when Diana becomes the ruler of her own domain...anything that you let get you down has to be channeled into positive work, or else it can be destructive. Always remember that.

I have referred to the past few months as a "nightmare." I guess I shouldn't use those words so lightly. Today I was talking about a member of my church youth group...a little girl with leukemia. That's a nightmare. That's something to cry about and to ask God (or whoever you believe is the higher power) "WHY?"

What happened to me really was unfair, but it's not tragic. It goes against all the rules of karma, but it won't be forever. I'll most likely end-up in a better place than I was. I read once that you have to keep going, because you never know when something wonderful might happen...and maybe that will be tomorrow.

Yes...it IS this person's fault and I do indeed still blame him...but my friend's right...blaming somebody else for all of this hurt only does so much good and I need to take control of this situation and make something positive come-out of it. I can't wait for things to turn-out okay, I have to make sure I MAKE things okay.

Diana Rissetto