Okay, I had a rough few weeks.
I decided to do something that felt like a very nice gesture and would increase my good energy.
I made a list of everybody I had any kind of an issue with...it didn't matter what kind of an issue it was. It didn't matter if that issue was only in my head and that they probably didn't even remember who I was.
That list turned-out to be very short (maybe my good energy is already pretty good?) and I wrote-out very nice greeting cards to all of them.
I put them in the mail and tried not to imagine them being confused or even rolling their eyes.
I pictured them opening the cards and thinking, "Wow. That's really nice. I'm going to do a random nice gesture for an unexpecting person now!"
A few days after I mailed that card, an act of kindness and generosity from one of those people came right back to me, and I took it as a sign that everything was now turning around (it's been a really rough year for me personally). It was a very small gesture...this person wasn't offering me a new job or giving me money to fund a play...but it was still a major one.
And then I was told that nice gesture was actually a mistake and, just like that, it was taken away from me.
I felt crushed...absolutely crushed...and so confused as to exactly how this universe works.
Doesn't anybody appreciate kindness and care about others' feelings...or am I completely alone on THAT list?
I was hurting, and I am confused and I am really ready to see good things start to happen for good people. This year has been rough. I copied a quote about how true success means you go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. I hope I'm doing that and I hope it's true.
You know, you just have to keep going, because you never know when something really wonderful is going to happen. Maybe that karma is still on its way and maybe that good energy I sent out wasn't about getting anything back in return at all.