Yes, these last few months have been pretty frustrating and soul-crushing.
It's really easy to blame all of your problems on another person, and I do indeed blame one particular person for those of the past few months. I mean...the majority of my pain and frustration can be directly blamed on this other human being. It's a fact. Anybody close to the situation would agree...it's a fact. It's his fault.
I've been opening-up to few people about this situation and one of my friends has been particularly supportive, and I couldn't be more grateful that he hasn't written me off as a raving lunatic yet.
The other day, he told me...
There has to come a point when Diana becomes the ruler of her own domain...anything that you let get you down has to be channeled into positive work, or else it can be destructive. Always remember that.
I have referred to the past few months as a "nightmare." I guess I shouldn't use those words so lightly. Today I was talking about a member of my church youth group...a little girl with leukemia. That's a nightmare. That's something to cry about and to ask God (or whoever you believe is the higher power) "WHY?"
What happened to me really was unfair, but it's not tragic. It goes against all the rules of karma, but it won't be forever. I'll most likely end-up in a better place than I was. I read once that you have to keep going, because you never know when something wonderful might happen...and maybe that will be tomorrow.
Yes...it IS this person's fault and I do indeed still blame him...but my friend's right...blaming somebody else for all of this hurt only does so much good and I need to take control of this situation and make something positive come-out of it. I can't wait for things to turn-out okay, I have to make sure I MAKE things okay.