Friday, February 18, 2011

Is getting married really that great of an accomplishment?

I recently witnessed a young woman (that I barely know) announce to various other young women (that she also barely knew) that she had just gotten engaged.

I never saw more excitement in my life. You would have thought she just announced she had cured cancer. They wanted all the details. They went ballistic over the ring. They asked if she had a date set. It was all anybody talked about for the rest of the day.

I started to wonder..."Is getting married REALLY that great of an accomplishment?"

95% of people are married at least once in their lifetime. Half of those marriages fail. You would think that would put a damper on things, but it really doesn't. So many young women see marriage as the ultimate goal and I just don't get it. I often hear about the "smug marrieds" or "smug engageds".

Is it the wedding that makes everybody so excited? If that same girl walked in and announced she was getting marrie but eloping, would everybody care as much? Is it the ring? If she didn't have an engagement ring, would it be as big a deal?

If I were to enter a room and go on and on about one of my writing projects, I'd probably sound like I was bragging...and I wouldn't feel like that roomful of people would care much, anyway...so I don't. But, for some reason, it's okay to go on and on (and on) about a wedding, and that's fine.

So many women view themselves as failures if they're not married by (insert age.) I wonder if they get brainwashed somehow or if it's really how they feel.

Why on earth is marriage such a big deal? It doesn't take a genius to do it. It doesn't take any talent. It doesn't solve your problems.

And don't get me started on babies. Nobody loves babies and little kids more than I do. I have a friend who I have gone to every various wedding and baby-related event she's had. I've spent money on her I really don't have to spend and have been as much a support as I could. However, the one time she was supposed to do something for me...she just didn't show-up. No email, no phone call...just didn't show-up. It made me feel like she viewed my accomplishments as less important than hers because I'm not registering at Babies R Us or Pottery Barn.

Every single one of us are here because SOMEBODY had a child...and, honestly? I refuse to let anybody feel like they are less of a person than that girl on the Maury Povich show who has seven kids and doesn't know who their fathers are.

Point is, we should all be there for our friends and family, support them, and view their happiness as our own, no matter what they are. I don't care if that means shrieking with your best friend because she's so excited that a new Walmart has opened near her apartment.



Diana Rissetto

1 comment:

Net said...

Here's my perspective on it.

It's not "an accomplishment" to achieve. However, I hope to someday find the man I want to spend my life with, to be my equal, to support me when I'm weak, and let me do the same for him. I haven't yet. I am enough of a romantic that when someone else believes he/she has found that person, I get excited for them, and choose to believe that this IS that person for them, until proven otherwise. Weddings and rings are fairly meaningless to me, other than they're the trappings representing the beauty of what is hopefully a long-lasting love.

Then again, I'd also LOVE to have you burst into a room and tell me about your latest play that's getting produced. :)

I've been maid of honor for a total bridezilla - so I know the opposite side of it; the side where you realize someone has gone off the deep end and just wish they would SHUT UP for once!