Maybe I'm letting boredom getting to me. Or the cold. Or money issues. Maybe I'm constantly reliving something that happened three months ago over and over in my head and wondering when I'll ever get over it and how badly it made me feel.
It's actually all of those things. Combined. A very bad combination.
I type without thinking. I type to comfort myself. I don't know how people who aren't comfortable writing are able to clear their minds. These past few weeks, I have been rambling in emails to a very select couple of friends who I know I can count on and who know the details my situation well.
However, I also often type and end-up getting myself into a lot of trouble. My mother always warned me not to put anything in writing...but I really don't know any other way to be.
Yesterday, I got a phone call in which my friend started with, "I'm calling you instead of emaling you back. And I hope you know I say this with all the love and support in the world..."
I was told I have to snap out of it, transform all this stress and bad energy I am feeling into something positive (like writing a future Pulitzer winner!) and not let other people dictate how I feel about myself.
The people who don't want to listen to you will walk away and not bother with you once you turn into a raving lunatic. It's a good way to find-out exactly who you can trust, who will be there for you when you're not feeling exactly optimistic about life.