Saturday, November 27, 2010

I am going to stop putting so much faith in karma...

I don't think it does much good.

A few weeks ago, I was carrying around a great deal of hurt, anger and disappointment...caused by one individual in particular.

Hate's a strong word. I try not to use it too often. I will not say that I hate this person...but I was definitely having some hateful feelings that I am not used to having.

Several friends told me not to worry about it...that karma would take care of 'em.

That was a comfort for a little while...but I really don't think it goes too far. It doesn't really help ME much to know that karma will one day get them.

The best and healthiest thing I can do right now is 100% distance myself from this person and put them far out of my mind. They don't DESERVE to be in my mind in any way.

Maybe karma will get them...and I will hear that they are failing miserable in everything they attempt in life...but even if they are, how does that help me out at all? They're successes have nothing to do with my successes, nor do their failures have anything to do with my failures.

I try to be really nice to most people. I always hold the door open and say, "Bless you" when I hear a stranger sneeze. I donate to charities even if I don't have much money. I volunteer my time working with children at my church. (They're not inner city children in desperate need of guidance, but good kids who choose to hang-out at church on weekends. But I still enjoy it.) I write happy stories and plays that I hope make other people happy and put something positive out into the world. I don't do all of this because because I want good karma. I am a nice person because I am a nice person. Maybe it won't bring wonderful things into my life. Maybe I will never quite catch a break, become wildly successful, fall in love with the great love of my life, forever have great health...but I can sleep well (or as well as an insomniac can sleep) knowing that I am nice to people and treat them with respect and have always tried my best.

Maybe that peace of mind is what is "in it for me". Maybe I'm not looking to be rewarded or punished...and maybe I don't need to care at all if other people are or aren't.

I remember watching a television show which had a Holocaust survivor as a character. Her friend asked her how on earth she managed to go on with her life, and be such a sweet, loving person, despite everything that she had seen and gone through. She responded with, "My revenge is being happy."

Okay, if a Holocaust survivor can feel that way, sure as heck I can as well.

I am going to be happy.

And I am going to wish nothing but happiness and health and prosperity on that person who crushed me so much a few weeks ago. It does me no good if other people are failing and suffering.

There are so many wonderful, beautiful people in my life to concern myself with. Some people just aren't worth it...and those are the ones I will let out of my life and mind and wish nothing but the best...

Diana Rissetto