Friday, February 19, 2010

I'm not sure why I have so many issues...

People are always telling me that change is good. But all that means is that something you didn't want to happen has happened-You've Got Mail



I don't know why I get so attached to things and places that don't even have feelings. It's probably one of those things t hat I would easily be able to write-off as something that happened as the result of losing a parent when I was a kid...but I think I've always been like this.

I remember when my parents got a new car when I was in the third grade. My sister and my cousin were in the backseat of the brand-new gray Ford Taurus, playing with the automatic windows, while I locked myself in the old Granada and started sobbing. Totally irrational behavior, but, looking back? I haven't changed so much.

I wish I have...but I really haven't.

Right now, I am obsessing over selling a house.

A house I've known for almost 20 years.

Normal people don't get this upset over a house...but I do, and I have no idea WHY. Even if I focus on the bad things that have happened in that house. Even if I logically tell myself that a house is a house is a house...and it is JUST a house...a big house that nobody really needs or should have to take care of.

Even if I drive around and look at all these houses with "For Sale" signs on it, and the pages and pages of homes for sale in the newspaper...people sell houses all the time...all of them don't get this upset, right? Why am I? What's so weird and different about me that I can't emotionally turn-off my mind the way other people are able to? When did I become the loan sentimental freak?

For some reason, the idea of having to pack-up and leave and know I can never go back there is absolutely heartbreaking to me! I have no idea how people just do it all the time...

Diana Rissetto