Sunday, February 28, 2010

Last night, I listened to my good friend cry for an hour.

It's not something I enjoyed having to do.

I mean, part of being a good friend is listening to a friend cry sometimes...but the part I really hate is that such a fantastic, smart, funny, beautiful person should be crying so much and feeling so badly about herself.

And over what?

A guy.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

I kept telling her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her...and she said that she knows that there is nothing wrong with ME and I often have the same issues she has...which left us to come to this conclusion...

We're just too great.

Just like my previous entry about Tiger Woods suggested that there is no room for nice girls left in this world...I don't think there really is.

This boy had led her on for months...saying some mighty suggestive things to her (yes, this is when the 80-year-old in me comes-out...but no way to talk to a young lady, darnit.)...and last night, she found out he's had a girlfriend all along.

I told her to feel sorry for the poor girlfriend...heck, I feel bad for the poor girlfriend and I don't know any of them.

I think she's too good to have to deal with this, and certainly too good to be crying and wondering what is wrong with her...and so am I.

We're going to stop feeling that way.

Right now.

We're too good for this! We really are!

It drives me absolutely mad to hear a girl of her quality tormenting herself like that, and I know the feeling is mutual.

Nice girls SO finish last. I'm very much looking forward to be proven wrong.........

Diana Rissetto

Friday, February 26, 2010

Even if you didn't bring home that gold...

...you still made my snow day(s) a little more exciting, Apolo Anton Ohno.



If I was a celebrity, I could tweet that I had a big 7th grade-ish crush on Apolo Anton Ohno, and word would get-out and it would make usmagazine.com, and then we'd completely end-up going on a date, which would result in a wedding and a posse of little speedskating writer children.

But since I'm just a nice, unknown playwright with a blog...that isn't going to happen.

Still.

(Are you looking for a new publicist by any chance? No?)

Congratulations on medal #8, Apolo Anton Ohno.

And you couldn't be any cuter if you were training seeing eye-dogs and helping old ladies skate while you were competing in those races.

Diana Rissetto

Allrighty, I need to comment on this...

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/tryst_gals_we_want_apology_62s2e9SPjO7gGEaTvHN1bN


Why on EARTH should he apologize to any of them?

If you had acted like a lady and had the slightest bit of respect for YOURSELF...you wouldn't have gotten yourself into such a situation where you felt you "deserved" an apology...from a married man you were having an affair with.

Sometimes I feel like there is just no place for "nice girls" left in this entire world............................................

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

This past week, I have learned that I really need to let things go...

At last, I think I know
The past is where we keep what might have been
But it's best to let it go...
Peter Cincotti


When I was a kid and moved from New York City to New Jersey, I desperately tried to keep in touch with all of my old classmates. I'd write letters to many of them, and would feel genuinely hurt when not all of them responded. Fourth graders usually aren't big letter-writers. Had email been around, they probably wouldn't have been big emailers either. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold on to everybody I had once known and what we had all been.

This week, just like the 9-year-old I once was, I desperately tried to hold onto people and to control things...to fix them...to stop change of any kind at all costs.

I realized that when I feel the need to hold onto people, it's more about holding on to how things used to be, the "good ol' days", when things were happier and simpler.

I have learned that some friendships just aren't meant to last forever...and that's really okay.

I realized how blessed I am to HAVE the friends in my life that I can see being around for the long haul...friends that I have exchanged matching Star-of-David and crucifix necklaces with for the holidays...friends I have a million-and-one inside jokes with...friends I can go out for dinner with and never once consider having to split the bill evenly, because we know true friendship can never be divided.

True friendship always evens-out.

Last year, I experienced a very difficult loss when my uncle, who was the closest thing I had to a dad, died. I knew a couple of people that I considered among my closest friends for a long time, although they weren't any more, knew about my family's loss and didn't say anything. I let that knowledge hurt me even more...but looking back, I realize how wrong I was. Why should I have concerned myself with people like that during that difficult time? My thoughts should have been with my wonderful uncle, whose life was cut so short, my family, whom I have gone through SO much with, and the incredible friends I have that I KNOW will never let me down.

The other people? They don't really matter...not anymore...

I'm starting to really understand how very short life really is, and that one day we live on this earth is a day less we have to live. When you think of it that way, carrying around any kind of bitterness or hurt seems really dumb.

So I won't anymore, and instead just focus on the good and on the people I love and that love me. I'll always believe that everybody comes into your life at the right time for a reason...and I'll remember those friendships that are no more and smile for the happy times, and hope they are doing the same thing when they remember me.

Diana Rissetto

Well, I can now say...

...that I once sang "Over the Rainbow" on a Broadway stage, accompanied by Michael Feinstein on piano, as I wore an Elvis wig.

And I was fantastic.

Diana Rissetto

Friday, February 19, 2010

I'm not sure why I have so many issues...

People are always telling me that change is good. But all that means is that something you didn't want to happen has happened-You've Got Mail



I don't know why I get so attached to things and places that don't even have feelings. It's probably one of those things t hat I would easily be able to write-off as something that happened as the result of losing a parent when I was a kid...but I think I've always been like this.

I remember when my parents got a new car when I was in the third grade. My sister and my cousin were in the backseat of the brand-new gray Ford Taurus, playing with the automatic windows, while I locked myself in the old Granada and started sobbing. Totally irrational behavior, but, looking back? I haven't changed so much.

I wish I have...but I really haven't.

Right now, I am obsessing over selling a house.

A house I've known for almost 20 years.

Normal people don't get this upset over a house...but I do, and I have no idea WHY. Even if I focus on the bad things that have happened in that house. Even if I logically tell myself that a house is a house is a house...and it is JUST a house...a big house that nobody really needs or should have to take care of.

Even if I drive around and look at all these houses with "For Sale" signs on it, and the pages and pages of homes for sale in the newspaper...people sell houses all the time...all of them don't get this upset, right? Why am I? What's so weird and different about me that I can't emotionally turn-off my mind the way other people are able to? When did I become the loan sentimental freak?

For some reason, the idea of having to pack-up and leave and know I can never go back there is absolutely heartbreaking to me! I have no idea how people just do it all the time...

Diana Rissetto

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ash Wednesday

Yesterday, only one person looked at the ashes on my forehead and said, "Oh, I always thought you were Jewish!"

Last year, it was three.

For some reason, people always think I am Jewish. Maybe it's all this curly dark hair.

Maybe it's the crucifix usually hanging-around my neck. That usually screams "nice Jewish girl" doesn't it?

Maybe I'll join JDate now.

Diana Rissetto

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

This morning...

I was picking-up a giant cake with Dame Edna's picture on it for a work-related event.

A woman in the cake shop looked at the giant cake with Dame Edna's picture on it, smiled and said, "Awe, is that your grandma?"

(And is it wrong that I considered saying, "Yes" because one thing that has always made me really really sad was that I never had a grandma????)

And if I had to pick any grandma...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Strike a pose!!!

My friend and Broadway-turned-television heartthrob Cheyenne Jackson walks the runway for charity.



Sunday, February 14, 2010

There is something so wrong with this picture...

...I am writing, and I have the Lawrence Welk Show on in the background. (Do you know they air that show about twelve times a weekend on the local PBS stations???)

And I am singing along with every song.

Why do I know all of these songs?

How old am I, anyway?

Apolo Anton Ohno...

...you could not be any cuter if you were raising seeing eye dogs as you skated away with those medals.

And, seriously, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO IT?

I guess there's a reason why you are the Olympian, Apolo Anton Ohno (that name is kinda like Charlie Brown's) and I am the one blogging about you.

You're awesome.


At the grocery store today...

Two kids were running around like monkeys and jumped in front of my cart out-of-nowhere.

I most certainly DID NOT hit the child with my cart, but he screamed to his mother, "She almost KILLED me!" I walk quietly away with my cart. The mom shouts after me, "FOR REAL????" Nobody loves kids more than I do, but I can't stand kids (and parents!) like that.

For some reason (and I really am not sure WHY, the stories aren't similar at all, except they illustrate how horrible and rude some people are.) this reminded me of an incident at the bookstore once.

I dug-out a nearly five-year-old email documenting it...it's best to keep the original flavor of the ordeal...so, here it is in its entirety.


May I present to you one of the greatest stories in the history of "I Work in Barnes and Noble and Have Learned that People Who Like to Read Can Also Be Idiots" stories.

Family is sitting in the children's department. They are rude. (and stupid and trashy)They make a mess and they leave.

I put on my coat and clock out. I just worked for 9 hours on a Sunday, I had somewhere to be, I wanted out of there!

Man comes back into the store and stops me on my way out.

Man: Did you find a black ski cap?

Diana: I'm actually on my way out, but you can check the kid's department and if anybody turned the hat in, it would be at the lost and found up front.

I get stopped by Mel to talk over something.

I finally leave the store and walk to my car.

Man's wife had in the meanwhile pulled up her car to the front of the store and he's getting into the car.

I hear everything they are saying.

Woman: There's the girl that works there, ask her if she knows where the hat is!

Man: I ASKED her already. And you know what she f-ing SAID to me? (whiny voice.) "I'm offfffffffffffffffffff."

I storm over to the freaking idiot and go:

Diana: Actually, I did not SAY that. I SAID that I was on my way out and that you could check the kid's department and the lost-and-found. I just worked 9 hours and have someplace to go and need to leave. It's not my responsiblity to find your hat!

(Okay, I have been VERY stressed lately, this is really not the right time to cross me.)

Man: (taken aback because Diana is usually a rather timid thing) Don't worry about it.

Diana: Oh, I am NOT worried, but I am also not a rude person and don't appreciate my words being twisted around like that.

I go home, but our story does not end there.

My friend Brian and I talk on the phone when I get home.

Brian: So, the family came back in, looking for the hat and they FOUND the hat (YOU CAN ALL BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF!), and when they were paying, the wife said to Christina,

"I can't believe you would have such a BITCH work in the children's department. We just wanted her help and you know what she said to us? (whiny voice) I'm offffffffffffffffffffffffff."

(which is ridiculous, since the wife wasn't even THERE and didn't witness anything, except for me running after her idiot husband in the parking lot and attempting to tell him off.)

Seriously, if there's one thing I know, it's that I'm WONDERFUL in that children's department and am wonderful with children and of all the horrible names you can call me, bitch is not one of them!!!!!!

WHAT DID THEY WANT ME TO DO?

Lock down the store so nobody could get out in case someone was trying to steal the stupid hat?

AND IT WAS A SKI CAP.

If someone came to me and asked them to find their, I don't know...engagement ring...or BABY or something...I'd help them even if I was clocked out and had my purse and coat and was GOING OUT THE DOOR....But COME ON!

I just can't stand classless, rude people..

So, I decided that I'm not going to let the last two years be in vain. I'm going to write a book, the even-numbered chapters will be Barnes and Noble stories and the odd-numbered ones will be my interview stories. (The Night Club one when I was worried I wouldn't make it out alive. The one at the play publishing place that the HR woman told me that the guy I would be working for has made everyone cry at least once and that it was a very rewarding job, because each day, I would leave and feel happy just to have gotten through another 9 hours with him alive. And, of course, we must not forget...the place that shook my hand, said, "DIANA WELCOME ABOARD!" and yet still didn't give me the job!) Tales of Working in a Bookstore (and Tales of Trying to Not Work in a Bookstore Anymore.)

Honestly, if I ever get to the point where my life is so empty and miserable that I'm giving trouble to some random poor soul who works in Barnes and Noble, I'm counting on each and every one of you to just kick me in the head.

So, be nice to your retail workers. We're doing the best we can and just because we're working retail doesn't mean we're stupid or uneducated and immature. Please.

Happy Valentine's Day

On Friday, somebody asked me if I was really depressed about the approaching Valentine's Day.

I pretended I didn't hear her.

Because if I HAD responded to her, I would have went on a soap box and ended-up coming-off insecure and overcompensating, like I really AM depressed and am doing my best to cover it up...so, I just didn't say anything.

As I was on the train home that evening, an older woman next to me started asking me about my Ipod...how many songs I had on it, what kind of songs I had on it, if I liked it.

Of course, if you answer a total stranger's question about your Ipod, it just invites them to ask more and more.

She asked where I had been and where I was going.

She asked about my family.

She asked about my mom, and about my dad...and I really should have just lied, but instead did tell her that he was no longer alive, and, of course...that just gave way to many more questions. (And I got to hear about every tragic thing that had ever happened to her, too.)

Finally, she asked if I was married...no, I'm not...boyfriend...no, don't have one of those, either...and she acted all sad...and asked me why.

I admit...it's very hard to feel secure as a single woman when the majority of the world is telling you that it's impossible for you to be happy and complete as one. Just when I'm feeling 100% okay (or close to it) with things the way they are, somebody makes a comment like that and I wonder if something is desperately wrong with me that this doesn't bother me as much as they think it should.

Am I supposed to make it my life's obsession? Am I supposed to devote all of my time to "finding somebody" just so I "won't be alone" anymore?

I have been reevaluating my life a lot lately...yes, I do waste more time than I should on television shows (I'm looking at you, The Millionaire Matchmaker) and rereading the same books (Jane Austen will never get old!) and playing around on Facebook (I can't help it if my status updates have a following). I should be using that valuable time towards writing more (nobody can write for me), volunteering (I already do, but for some reason, helping really nice kids at church doesn't seem to be as world-changing as I'd like it to be), and socializing.

Now is the time to really make things happen...and why should ending singledom really be my top priority when I have about ten thousand other things going on?

True, I don't make millions, but I value my job and have already accomplished and seen a lot of cool things! I'm a writer, and a pretty good one, and one day, I hope that my stuff can really be out there and I can be one of those people that get to do what I love for a living. I have a fantastic family, a baby nephew who cracks-up when I enter the room, and a four-year-old niece who runs to me and acts like I'm a celebrity whenever she sees me. My life is filled with friends and the arts and literature and the most incredible city in the world.

And, on top of that, people are always telling me how funny and cute I am! That's gotta count for something.

And yet...despite all of that...people think I am supposed to be sad and depressed...and part of me is kinda-sorta-just-a-little-just-a-little little tiny bit-starting to believe that.


Why?

Diana Rissetto

Thursday, February 11, 2010

One year ago today...

...Heaven got much funnier.

Miss you very, very much.

Diana

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I feel icky even POSTING John Mayer's new interview here.

I'm just old-fashioned and wholesome that way.

What I WILL say is that I wish Jessica Simpson had a 6'5 boyfriend or brother with 30-inch biceps that could go beat him up.

That's no way to talk about a lady, John Mayer.

Gross.

Stay a gentleman, Peter Cincotti.



Diana Rissetto

Monday, February 8, 2010

I was walking right next to Santino Fontana this morning.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Santino Fontana is able to go ANYWHERE without twelve bodyguards?"

No, you're not.

You're thinking, "Who's Santino Fontana?"

Four years ago, one of my all-time favorite shows came back off-Broadway after only being gone a few years...(it ran for over forty years the first time!) I love The Fantasticks. It is a sweet, simple, lovely show with some of the most beautiful music ever written.

It's about a boy, a girl, two fathers and a wall.

Santino played The Boy...and I immediately recognized him as one of those thin, young-looking Italian guys that opens his mouth to sing and all you can think is...

"WOW."

What a beautiful voice.

Santino went on to appear in Sunday in the Park with George and Billy Elliot...

...and then came Brighton Beach Memoirs...which closed quickly and cancelled the sequel, Broadway Bound. (Santino was to appear in both.) He was quickly cast in A View from the Bridge...but was forced to leave when he suffered a concussion onstage.

The guy has had a rough past few months...and it's discouraging to see somebody so very talented have a rough time!

And so I was crossing the street the same time as Santino and decided to say, "I've seen you in a bunch of shows...you're terrific!"

I'm not sure if Santino's expression was of alarm or confusion.

Or maybe just surprise.

"Thank you very much!" the former Boy from the Fantasticks said.

We went our separate ways.

Despite the fact that I might have freaked him out, I started thinking about how much power a single compliment can have.

For all I know, the boy's been feeling down about his recent not-so-wonderful luck!

And maybe a random curly-haired strange telling him he was terrific on 57th street at 9:00 AM on a Monday morning was just what he needed!

I told my mother this story, and she told me about how she was taking a walk and stopped to tell a woman doing yardwork how beautiful the landscaping of her home was. The woman's face lit-up.

I decided that I'm going to start paying five random compliments a day.

I invite you all to join in me on this goal!

(I told my friend Matt about this, and he said he was going to try...and then said, "Is it a compliment to tell somebody their child is annoying? Because I really wanted to on the bus today..." Well, I think you COULD say, "How did a person that seems as nice as you have such an annoying child?" Kill two birds with one stone!!!)

I am looking forward to finding more things to compliment, and hopefully in turn, finding beauty in things and people I never would have noticed before.

It's going to be exciting!

(I would also like to add a disclaimer...Peter Cincotti remains my favorite thin, young-looking Italian boy with talent that makes me go "WOW". Santino, however, makes a convincing argument.)

Compliment away!!!

Diana Rissetto

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I told my mom that I'm going to stop worrying...

...about everything!

That is, most likely, much easier said than done.

A few weeks ago, a friend said to me (this friend is a Broadway star and he said these words to me in his dressing room after his show. This has nothing to do with the story...it just makes it a little more impressive and exciting) as I was complaining about my life and current problems, "To quote Michael Jackson...you gotta make that change."

We all know that I really hate change, and try to avoid it at all costs, but have been trying to embrace it just a little more.

I can't change the state of the world right now...and I can't change the fact that some people are just hurtful for the sake of being hurtful...but I can change the way I react to things.

I was reading all journal entries from after I was laid-off almost three years ago.

(Yikes, that was three years?)

That was definitely one of the most crushing things I had ever experienced...and that is actually kind of pathetic for me to say, considering I watched one of my parents die as a child. THAT matters. THAT is what counts.

A job isn't.

Not at all.

I remember that day, walking in the pouring rain, juggling all the junk from my desk, crying my heart out.

And while I can't change the fact that job losses will happen, I can know that crying and feeling miserable and defeated doesn't help anything at all.

I really should have just felt sorry for that office for letting go somebody as devoted and enthusiastic and funny as me.

The other day, I told a close friend of mine that I often feel a lot younger than everybody else our age...maybe this comes from the fact that I'm not married and I don't own my own home and I don't make a stellar salary.

She told me she feels the same way...and then said that it was strange, because she and I are often TOO mature in the way we over think things and the way we really care about other people's feelings, while so many don't.

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels a little lost and backwards right now...like I should have it "more together" and I really don't...

I also worry that what will happen if my mother decides to sell our family home, where I have been living, mostly alone, for the past few years. I worry about that often.

But I'm going to stop worrying about that...

...and just be grateful that I have a roof over my head and always will.

I worry that I don't make much money...

But I'm going to stop worrying about that...

...and be happy that I have a job at ALL in this economy, and a job that has brought me some great adventures and friends.

I worry that I'm single, and sometimes worry that I'm "running out of time." Everybody else is getting married and having kids!

But I'm going to stop worrying about that...

...and listen to Michael Buble's "I Just Haven't Met You Yet" whenever I feel down, and remind myself that I COULD have gotten married to the "wrong guy" by now, but I haven't...and that just because people are married, doesn't mean they are any happier or better than I am...and one day when it does happen for me, I'll really appreciate it and now I didn't settle.

So...my friend told me I had to make a change...

...and maybe I'm not really ready to make too many major changes. I don't want to move to another state, or find a job in a different field, or let people fix me-up on blind dates or start straightening my hair...

And that's okay.

I think the biggest change I can make right now is my general outlook.

Perhaps then the rest will fall into place.

Diana Rissetto