Saturday, January 2, 2010

Quick reflections on the start of the New Year...

Carousel was my dad and my SHOW. We saw it onstage together. We'd watch the movie together. We'd listen to the recording in the car. My dad was such a guy's guy, but he loved Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Ever since my dad died, I cannot go near's bad enough that it was our show, but the fact that it's about a dad dying and coming back to guide his daughter makes it just about infinitely worse. (Seriously, Dad, did you have to take things so literally???) I hear the opening chords, I cry all over the place. I hear ANY version of "If I Loved You", I'm a goner. I haven't watched the movie since before my dad died, and I think the only thing that will ever bring me back that show is Cheyenne possibly being Billy.

I've been feeling pretty off lately...I'm not sure why...I would blame it on the Quarterlife Crisis, but I feel like I should be beyond that by now!

I remember the last scene of Carousel, and this part:

You just stand on your own two feet. The world belongs to you as much as to the next fella, so don't give it up. And try not to be scared of people not liking you, just you try liking them. And just keep your faith, and your courage, and you'll turn out all right.

And a friend recently told me that the New York Post horoscopes are frighteningly, I started reading them.


Will worrying make things better? If it does it will be the first time ever.

I need to stop worrying so much and I need to stop being so hard on myself. Maybe 2010 will be a nice place to start doing all of that.

Diana Rissetto

No comments: