Friday, February 27, 2009

Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you ...

Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone? Sex and the City

There were many moments when Carrie Bradshaw was extremely wise and said exactly what so many of us are thinking.

(While I am probably one of the most anti-shoe girls in the world, I still loved my weekly doses of Sex and the City...and love TBS for airing the cleaned-up versions...what can I say? I am most certainly a "Charlotte".)

I am probably about ten years younger than Carrie was when she said those words...and I already agree with her. I am already at that point. I go to showers and weddings and make a huge deal out of other people's children (I love babies and little kids). I spend money (which I don't make too much of) on other people's weddings and children...gladly, really...but there comes a time when you feel like other people are placing your value and success on the fact that you haven't registered for china in the past few years. I don't matter...I don't count...I must be unhappy and jealous and longing...because I don't have a ring.

Now, it is completely possible to be entirely okay with being single...I am...but I am not okay with people assuming that I am not...that my entire goal in life must be to walk down an aisle with somebody...I tell myself that the newspapers are FULL of wedding announcements, and Maury Povich has tons of girls that have numerous babies (with numerous different fathers!) This all makes it seem like those achievements can't be too great...if so many people can do them...right? Then how come everybody acts like it's the end-all?

I still have a crystal-clear memory from right after my sister got engaged.

Somebody went-up to my mother and said, "One down, one to go."

That bothered me.

A lot.

(I think the fact that I am still talking about it three years later proves that...)

We could talk about the things I have done with my writing...I'm getting my own plays produced!

Or about my job...true, I'm not exactly bringing home a huge paycheck, but I have had a lot of exciting experiences and met some extraordinary people...(and I got to hold Neil Simon's coat once!)

I am healthy, I am young, I have naturally curly hair.

But, oh no...

For some reason, none of these things matter to other people.

I'm not married, I'm not engaged, so I am a second-class citizen.

I have been excluded from dinners and parties by friends and relatives who are all paired-up. Perhaps they feel I'll feel awkward being the only single person there? But, seriously, I feel much more awkward and badly being leff-out. A single person is perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation. When I'm not invited with a guest to a wedding, and then learn that a teenage guest with a boyfriend or girlfriend is that not supposed to make me feel bad?

I don't get showers, I don't get gifts, I don't get cards congratulating me on my achievements, and if I talk too much about my accomplishments, I'm being a braggart...but nobody ever says that about girls who talk incessantly about their weddings and babies that...(once again...I am not begrudging them...I just don't think it's really fair.) I am fine with my status (or lack-of) but definitely not fine with people assuming that I am must be sticking pins in voodoo dolls of married friends. (Since, of course, what girl in her twenties doesn't dream of getting married before 30?)

I made such a big deal about everybody else's joys, but then I end-up feeling somewhat forgotten about. And I know that shouldn't!

How come people always say things like, "Your time will come", in reference to, "Don't worry, you'll get married some day!" Why can't your time be right now, and be what you make of it?


I think we all deserve to be celebrated, and think it's very sad that we only reserve celebrating for certain life milestones.

I'm having a huge party soon.

And I'm registering.

And inviting everybody I know to my, "I can't even seem to meet any straight guys lately, but I deserve cards and a party and cake!"

You are all invited.

Diana Rissetto