Monday, April 6, 2009

Just another day trapped under a staircase...

I like to think that, in some way, my trademark clumsiness is endearing.

Like Carole Lombard.

Or Sandra Bullock.

Wherever I go, disaster usually follows.

My mother often compares me to Ugly Betty, saying that Betty is very much like me, in a sense that she has a very good heart…but always ends-up in a complete mess.

(I think the same can be said about Leave it to Beaver…Beaver was a good kid…with some very bad judgement.)

The other day at work, I had one of the most Ugly Betty moments of my life. (Which is saying a lot.)

I had to bring something to another building and they sent me to the loading dock to drop-it off, and went down stairs to get there, then went through a door that I THOUGHT was leading outside…the door was labeled “No Re-Entry”…

“Fine,” I thought. “I don’t want to re-enter. I just want to leave.”

But...oh, no...it's a stairway and every door is locked.

I started going upstairs to find another door and an alarm starts going crazy because I was going near the emergency exit. The alarm stops.

I bang on doors.

I pray somebody just comes and opens the door.

I go and sit down on the bottom steps and call my office to see if they can call the building to let them know somebody is stuck in there and needs to get out. I was there for about a half-hour. No kidding.

I began picturing myself on the evening news.

My coworkers pass the phone around and finally one tells me, "Okay, just go back to the emergency exit, open it and walk-out!”

Me: BUT THERE'S A SURVEILLANCE VIDEO! THEY'LL CATCH ME!

Co-worker: But you're not a criminal! You're a girl trapped in a stairway!

I go out the door and the alarm starts BLASTING, and I take-off and go CHARGING down the block like I had just mugged somebody.

I get back to work and my boss’s assistant just looks at me and laughs and shakes his head and goes, "I just don't understand how you don't have your own sitcom..." (I don’t understand that, either!)

For the rest of the day, I was waiting for “them” to come after me. (I’m not sure who “them” is.) You know…those people that were searching for a girl in a magenta coat and curly dark hair.

If this happens in an upcoming episode of Ugly Betty, we will now for sure that they have been following me, just have I have suspected that they have been.


Diana Rissetto

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