Thursday, November 27, 2008

Every so often, I watch an infomercial

It doesn't happen too often these days, since I've found more productive ways to spend my insomnia.

I still get sucked into these things, and admit to falling for a gimmick here and there... although I know that, deep down, it is kind of silly to buy a hair product just because Melissa Gilbert raves about it on an infomercial...(I mean, using the same hair product as Melissa Gilbert is the closest I will ever be to having Charles Ingalls for a dad!)

Melissa was pushing the product WEN...but I am here to talk about another product...The InStyler.

I learned something from watching five minutes of The Instyler infomercial.

I, and other people like me, should not be seen in public.

Ever.

Because I have curly hair.

Apparently, curly hair is an absolutely hideous trait, and any hair with the slightest hint of a curl must be cured IMMEDIATELY.

Okay, take a look at this girl, Emerald.

http://www.getinstyler.com/howitworks.html

First of all, her name is Emerald. Why on earth would her parents give her a name like that if they wanted her to conform and be like everybody else in the world?

I love how they list the problems with Emerald's hair..."big, frizzy, curly, long."

Now, first of all...she's a pretty girl, and her hair looks great. As for her hair being too "big, frizzy, curly, long"...I think the only negative word on that list is "frizzy", and that girl's hair? Not frizzy. In fact, I think her hair is quite straight and calm compared to mine.

(Might I add that when I used the WEN product...yes, I DID end-up ordering it, and it smells absolutely WONDERFUL...it made my hair so unbelievably poufy that I felt bad sitting in front of somebody at the movies because I felt like I was blocking their view.)

There was nothing wrong with Emerald the way she was, and I honestly think that she looked much better BEFORE they took that InStyler to her pretty hair.

For as long as I can remember, my hair has just grown-out of my head curly. That's just the way it is. I have never wanted straight hair, and I hate that people assume that I would choose straight hair if I could. Once this guy I worked with saw a wedding picture of my sister's and said:

"You must be jealous of her."

I assumed he was talking about being jealous of her because she was married and I wasn't...that comment alone deserved a really hard kick in the shin. And in the head. And the silent treatment for a week.

But...oh, no...he went on to say:

"Because she has straight hair."

Me: Why would I be jealous?
Him: Don't all girls that have curly hair want straight hair?

NO! NO! NO! NO THAT IS NOT TRUE AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY EVERYBODY THINKS THAT AND WHY THEY THINK IT IS OKAY TO COMMENT ABOUT IT!

I have also been told at different times that my hair was the reason I had a hard time finding a job after college (I mean, it has nothing to do with the economy or anything crazy like that) and a boyfriend (the fact that I primarily meet guys who are looking for boyfriends themselves couldn't be the REAL reason, could it? And for the record...all my gay male friends love my hair.)

I would like to defy the InStyler and give you a list of girls who prove that it is okay to be curly. These women probably have absolutely no trouble getting dates or jobs.

I have seen most of them with their hair straightened...and, honestly?

They look prettier and more confidant and special curly.


Frieda, from Peanuts. Frieda would say stuff like, "People always expect MORE from you when you have naturally curly hair!" She would introduce herself by saying, "I have naturally curly hair!"

Frieda knew how to work it.




Everyone's favorite TV nurse, Julianna Margulies. (She gets extra points for being pale as a sheet as well, another one of my physical traits that people are always telling me I need to change.)



The delightful Rena Strober!



The ultimate curly goddess...Bernadette Peters. She's nearing 60 now, and her hair is as long and thick and curly as ever.


Mandy Gonzalez! A fiercely talented Broadway actress, and I do a doubletake every time I see a picture of her because it is slightly weird how much we look alike.


And for all the curly-haired boys out there who have short hair when they CAN grow it out into some glorious curls...here is Matthew Morrison, currently starring in South Pacific. He is an absolute dreamboat.

Sometimes "dreamboat" is the only word to describe a boy.

He's handsome and talented and can definitely pull-off a buzzcut (especially when he is playing a World War II soldier and singing love songs), but, Matthew...we love your curls. Love love love.



If curly hair wasn't special, everybody would be able to grow it on their own.

Free your hair...the rest will follow.

Diana Rissetto