And when I TELL people this secret, they don't believe me and think that I am lying.
I have stick-straight hair. I sleep in rollers every night and delude everybody into thinking that I have all this "naturally curly hair."
No, that's not it at all...
I am SHY.
I am very very very SHY.
Whenever I describe myself as shy, people laugh at me.
"YOU?! You are so friendly! You could have an enthusiastic conversation with a brick!"
But, despite the fact that that IS true (I am very friendly and CAN carry on an enthusiastic conversation with a brick...or, at least, a stranger on the train...)
...but I am shy.
When I started school in New Jersey, I was named the "Special Student" or whatever...when my teacher put your name on an apple or a rocketship or something and everyone had to write something nice about you. I was the first one of the year...I guess because I was a "new kid" and Miss Wagner wanted me to feel accepted.
God bless her, but it backfired.
One girl wrote of me, "She has a weird accent."
(She underlined both 'weird' AND 'accent.')
After that, I kinda stopped talking...I started again once my accent began to fade. Everybody wrote me-off as shy...maybe that's when I started to feel shy...
My friend Megan said to me not too long ago, "It's really funny that you have no problem going up to some big Broadway star (the Tony-nominated male lead of The Light in the Piazza...)and commenting that your children would have beautiful curls (well...they WOULD!) but you have a really hard time asking a normal guy out..."
I'm just horrendously shy.
I also have a hard time making friends.
I have a lot of friends...I think...and I often joke and say that I am still in touch with the friends I made when I was in the hospital when I was born. (I'm really not...it sounds funny, though.)
Maintaining friendships is very important to me, and I don't like to lose touch with people. (I actually just got back into touch with my best friend from the third grade who moved to California the same year I moved to New Jersey!)
But when it comes to making new friends?
It's hard for me!
Making new friends used to be really easy. We used to just go up to a person and practically ask them to be our friend, and then they were. Watching little kids interact always fascinates me. I wish it was still that simple.
But, sadly, we all have to grow-up...and making friends becomes difficult.
The other day, my friend IMed me with a Craigslist posting she found...she said she was interested in responding to it.
So I've found craigslist to be incredibly useful these past few years - 2 apartments, 2 roommates, bought a bedframe, a dresser... why not find some new girl friends?
About me: 25 year old native NY-er, teacher, educated, funny, loves music, spicy food, crappy tv (anyone else secretly looking forward to watching New York Goes to Hollywood??), girly junk, volunteerism, art, theatre, dancing to trashy top 40 hits at bars, i like to take care of myself (outside and in), love sundresses, flip flops, making conversation, falling in love with places and people on a daily basis.
I've lost touch with many childhood friends, and went to college out of state. My career doesn't really attract many young people and there are no opprotunities for networking, so... craigslist, do your magic!!
Just looking for an equally awesome, down to earth, smart girl to become close friends with. lets text message when something funny happens. lets burn each other CDs. lets do our toes while watching old saved by the bell. lets go flirt with boys. lets go sunbathe in central park and read amazing novels. lets vent. lets laugh.
I think this girl is onto something.
We DO use Craigslist to find washing machines and apartments and jobs and boyfriends...why NOT new friends?