The other night, I went out to dinner with an old friend from high school.
She was one of my close friends back then, but we lost touch over the years.
Thanks to the magic of Facebook, we were able to reconnect and met-up when she came home for the holidays.
We got onto the topic of, "Everybody around us is getting married and it's kinda freaky and we're not even meeting any guys of interest! What's up with that!"
(For the record, I have absolutely no interest in getting married any time soon. I am not in any hurry, and the next time anybody makes a comment hinting that I should be panicking about it, I'm going to throw their shoes in a lake.)
I asked her if she tried online dating at all.
(I am notoriously shy...yes, I am...nobody ever believes me when I say that...so it seemed as good a way as any to meet people...especially since I always have felt that I express myself best in writing.)
She shook her head and said, "I feel like when it's right, the universe will provide...and I don't want to interfere with that."
Okay, now, I have always been one to look for "signs."
When I was a senior in high school, I went to a psychic at my post-prom party (and I am sure they have nothing but the most authentic psychics at post-prom parties!) and he told me that I was just months away from meeting "the one", and that when I DID meet "the one", he'd have light hair and double initials.
I took that to heart, and when I met a guy with light hair and double initals months later...I was certain I didn't have to search anymore.
(Even though I was only about nineteen at that point, and hadn't looked much.)
I thought that was my sign! I thought that was it!
(This seems a good a time as any to mention this story...http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/31/books/31opra.html I always loved this story, ever since I read it in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book years ago...I think it was Chicken Soup for the Old-Fashioned Hopeless Romantics that own West Highland White Terriers Soul.
I thought about my friend's comment for a while after and wondered just how true it was. This was one of those stories that genuinely made me believe in the "universe providing." Yes, I AM disappointed that the story isn't true...but at the same time, they DID find each other, even if it wasn't by way of the "apple story" and are still together after all these years. The hopeless romantic in me still finds something incredibly inspiring about this couple regardless...)
Maybe we shouldn't interfere with fate...but where do you draw the line?
How come internet dating is considered interfering with fate, but nobody says that to girls who go out and find their next boyfriends in bars? (Something I am, pretty sure, I would never do.)
We could hardly sit on the sidewalk and wait for a guy to fall-out of the sky.
I have a feeling that fate always finds a way.
Maybe your soulmate is out there on an online dating site, but joined on a whim and you're the only person he even contacted.
Maybe you're both at the same bar because you were dragged by your separate friends.
Maybe you start talking on the train one day because it's the one day you didn't have time to buy a newspaper.
And to quote Amy in the 1994 film version of Little Women, "You don't need scores of suitors...you only need one...if he's the right one!"
And maybe we all should just not worry at all and trust the universe...