Friday, December 21, 2007

Bedazzled Biscotti

I like to consider myself pretty intelligent and well-read and wordly (I mean, I've been to Europe...even if I only went English-speaking European countries...and I went to San Francisco...if only for less than 24 hours...but...still...I do read a lot.)

However, for a smart girl, I am also very naive and quite a sucker for advertising and cheap marketing campaigns that are probably targeting the guillible and less-wordly.

I was born with very bad allergies. I also love dogs, so the allergies thing has always been quite upsetting for me. (I refuse to be one of those "dog people" that "hates cats." I heard once that while most "cat people" also like dogs, most "dog people" have absolutely no affinity for cats. While I have never really emotionally connected with a feline friend, I also have never really gotten to know one well.)

I love dogs! The only reason I went along with the "let's move to the suburbs" thing when I was a kid was because my parents promised me a dog when we got settled in New Jersey. We ended up with a West Highland White Terrier, which are "hypoallergenic.) So, while LuLu never bothered my allergies, other dogs made my eyes water and my ears itch and the sneezing...OH the sneezing.

Every summer, the Broadway community holds "Broadway Barks." Animal shelters from all over the area attend and showcase dogs that are looking for homes. These dogs walk around wearing little capes that say "Adopt Me!" and many of them have sob stories.

In other words, it is very dangerous for the sensitive animal lover. Each year, I go and am tempted to bring home about fourteen dogs.

In 2003, I attended Broadway Barks and had a severe allergic reaction the next day. I played with too many dogs. I rubbed my eyes too many times.

The next day, my eyes pretty much swelled-shut and I even took a tumble down the stairs. (My family thought this was very funny. Our next-door-neighborhood, who was a nurse, came over and put tape over my eyes. It didn't help.)

I finally went to the doctor, and he gave me perscriptions for four different kinds of allergy medication to take. (Two pills, some eye drops and nose spray.)

Within a couple of days, my eyes were better, but my allergies were just as ballistic as ever. I remembering watching a Zyrtec commercial during this time and getting very very annoyed.

Very annoyed.

The man in the Zyrtec commercial told a tale similar to my own. (He didn't mention that sometimes his ears were so itchy that he wanted to stick a fork in them, but I am sure he did feel that way sometimes.)

Also like myself, the man in the Zyrtec commercial was given a perscription for Zyrtec. (Or does that go without saying?)

And now he is married to a woman that has cats.

HE MARRIED A WOMAN THAT HAS CATS.

Zyrtec really did nothing for me and my dreadful allergies, and yet this guy is able to MARRY A WOMAN THAT HAS CATS?

(I know, I know. The guy in the commercial probably doesn't even HAVE allergies and isn't even married to the girl in the commercial with the cats! But still! It's not fair! And it upsets me!)

To this day, I always feel a little sad whenever I hear the word "Zyrtec"...thinking about the (hypothetical) guy with the cats that I might never get to marry because of my allergies...and that couple on the commercial! They're so happy! And they have cats!And Zyrtec works for them!

We can also discuss my love of buying makeup just because I like the name of the shades. (I have gotten better with this one...seriously!) When I was much-younger, I bought a shade of light pink nail polish because it was called Princess Di. Come on, I HAD to have THAT. It was called Princess Di! I was NAMED after Princess Di!

I never wear lipstick (ever). It just doesn't feel natural for me, and I'm too lazy to have to reapply it all the time. However, this does not stop me from buying it.

Because I like the name of the shade.

Toast of New York City.

Had to have it. I have never worn it (it's been sitting in my makeup bag for about three years now), but just owning a tube of it makes me feel just a tad more like Holly Golightly than I already do.

Eye make-up is more of a necessity for me, and the eye shadow of the shade Bedazzled Biscotti has lived-up to its name.

Today, as I was Christmas shopping, I spritzed some perfume. (I am also not a huge perfume girl. Last year, my cousin bought me a bottle of Sarah Jessica Parker's "Lovely." I think she figured I would like it because it was pink and called "Lovely." Actually, I think I TOLD her that I wanted to try it because it was pink and called "Lovely", so she gave me a bottle for Christmas. I actually used that almost every day and finished a whole bottle of it. That never happens with perfume. It usually just collects dust alongside Bedazzled Biscotti and Toast of New York City.)

The perfume I spritzed was Tresor by Lancome.

Now, the only REASON I spritzed it was because Kate Winslet is in the commercials. (If you might recall, Kate Winslet is number one on my "British Girls I Would Love to be Best Friends With" list, followed by Kate Middleton, just so I could meet her boyfriend, Prince William, and he could shake my hand and go, "Ah, yes. That is a very easy name for me to remember.")

I don't know WHY Kate Winslet being in a commercial for this scene would make me want to drop $70 for a bottle of it. No idea. I mean, it's not like Julianna Margulies or Bernadette Peters are in InStyle spilling secrets about what products they use in their curly hair.

Is wearing the same perfume that Kate Winslet advertises going to make me any more of a celebrity? Will it bring me one step closer to being best buddies with the young lady who breathed life into Rose Dawson and Marianne Dashood?

Absolutely not!!!! It won't!!!! I am a smart person! I realize that!

But I still spritzed that Tresor today because that commercial with Kate Winslet floating comes on every three minutes!

I am the advertising and marketing industries' DREAM.

(Don't even get me STARTED on how heartbroken I was when I saw the guy from the big JDate billboard in Times Square...you know, with the couple that met on JDate and married...it's not there anymore...on commercials for both Lipitor and breakfast cereal. I tried to tell myself that it is PERECTLY possible that he is an actor and does have a cholosterol problem AND met his wife on JDate. It is SO possible.)

Diana Rissetto