Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Ten Commandments and Cadbury Eggs

Every spring, I find myself saying the same things over the stretch of 40 days or so...

I say, "Thank goodness springtime only comes once a year...because that means that the Easter and Passover holidays are only celebrated once a year...and if the Easter and Passover holidays were celebrated MORE than once a year, odds are very good that I would do nothing but watch The Ten Commandments and eat mini-Cadbury eggs all the time. And that couldn't be very healthy...physically or mentally!"

I am Catholic and people often automatically assume that I am very religious...not sure why. My dad's sister is a nun, but I think it's my overall wholesome 1943 demeanor (seriously), the crucifix danging around my neck, the fact that I taught Sunday school to first and second graders for several years. (I really should be about 85-years-old, shouldn't I?) I definitely go to church and say my prayers, but so do a lot of people.

However, while some people are pegging me as the quintessiontial nice Catholic girl (can't argue with them there), others always assume I am Jewish when meeting me (and that's before they even know about my obsession with Anne Frank!) I think it's the curly dark hair. (One might assume that people would notice that dangling crucifix and would realize that a matter how dark and curly her hair was...most likely wouldn't be wearing one around her neck if she was Jewish...but I have come to the conclusion that most people don't actually think before they speak.)

What on earth was I talking about?

Ah, yes. Mini-Cadbury Eggs and The Ten Commandments.

I remember watching The Ten Commandments when I was a very young child and asking my father how Jesus learned about Moses. My father thought that was hilarious, for some reason, and repeated it to my mom and our relatives.

I still watch that movie every year, even though I always always always end up nodding-off in the middle of it, then waking up and thinking, "Ohhh...this is still on?" I am pretty sure I have never watched the entire movie beginning to end. A few years ago, I was considering buying the DVD at Barnes and Noble. My coworker looked at me and went, "Come on...are you actually going to WATCH it?"

She was right.

I would never watch it.

It is a lot more fun to have that spontaneous, "Oh wow! The Ten Commandments is on ABC tonight! I know what I am doing from eight to eleven (or until I fall asleep!") Watching The Ten Commandments, on DVD, any time you want, is no fun at all.

Like watching Chuck Heston in The Ten Commandments, mini-Cadbury eggs are extra-special because you can only enjoy them once a year. (And I would like to clear something up...I am not talking about Cadbury Creme Eggs. I am talking about mini-Cadbury eggs. They come the purple bag. They're different pastels and small and crunchy and taste the best right out of the freezer...but also just as great when you leave a bag in your car and they melt. I mean that.)

I love those things. "Just one more handful!" and then suddenly a whole bag is gone...and I realize I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch...just mini-cadbury eggs. Last year, I told my friend at work, "If I don't buy a bag, I can't EAT an entire bag...why can't I stop buying bags of mini-Cadbury eggs???"

But mini-Cadbury eggs come out but once a year...then they get marked-down the day after Easter, and you buy about twelve bags, and then those are gone and you don't have to face them again for another year. Your teeth AND waistline are very happy about this.

Last year, however, something insane happened.

They released mini-Cadbury eggs FOR CHRISTMAS! They looked and felt and TASTED just like the Easter ones, but were red and green!

This past Easter, I didn't overindulge with the mini-Cadbury eggs because I KNEW that it would be a short seven months or so until I could have the Christmas editions.

I behaved.

And now, it's December 13th, and I have not seen a single red or green mini-Cadbury egg. I am starting to think that it was all a dream...but they existed last Christmas! They did!

So, I will have to wait until February to have another mini-Cadbury egg.

Now, since we ARE supposed to live each day to the fullest, I say, to heck with calendars.

If you want to watch The Ten Commandments when Passover is still five months away, you go rent or even BUY the DVD and go crazy! Watch the special features while you're at it!

If you want to eat mini-Cadbury eggs in July, stock up at the fifty percent sale after Easter and lock them in the old freezer in the garage! (Just remember, they need to last you a whole year...unless they come out with red, white and blue ones for Independence Day. )

Life is too short! Be happy!

Diana Rissetto


Corey B said...

Oooohhhh man I am obsessed with those eggs!!!!! They ARE awesome!

Annette said...

People assume you're Jewish despite the pendant and chain around your neck... and I keep attracting boys who assume by my demeanor that I'm a nice Christian girl. Despite the Jewish Star around my neck. Seriously - "Hmm... this guy who won't date anyone who isn't Christian is acting interested in me. My necklace IS showing. Maybe if I wear a shirt where the star fits exactly in my cleavage next time I see him he'll notice it. Because if he's missing it, he is probably being a boy and too busy staring at my boobs, right?" Yeah, doesn't work. It must be that my eyes are so beautiful they can't look away and gaze into them adoringly until I flat out TELL them I'm Jewish. At which time they feel as if I've betrayed them by not telling them sooner despite the fact it's not secret, it's on my myspace page (which they comment on) and I flaunt the Jewish Star.

People don't THINK. And are DUMB.