Friday, July 13, 2007

It's really weird how certain songs automatically provoke certain memories.

I absolutely adore Carly Simon, but don't listen to her CDs as much as I used to, because her songs remind me of the year my dad died. (I went through a complete Carly Simon period in high school...belting out "Jesse" and "You're So Vain" when I was along in my room...daydreaming of becoming best friends with Carly's daughter, and then eventually Carly would use her pull at Simon and Schuster to get me published...ah, yes...") She and my dad were also both battling cancer at the same time...I think that also made me feel a kinship towards her. Towards the end of my dad's life, he was in a great deal of pain, and would scream sometimes. I'd hide in my room, playing Carly Simon's albums, and wishing I could just transport myself into another life and make everything just go away. Carly would eventually release an album called "The Bedroom Tapes", all songs she wrote while she was recovering from cancer. Maybe I should revisit that album soon...

There's also that song, "Ooh, Child" (is that the name of it? Does that song even HAVE a name?) Sometimes I don't really realize how much of an impact my dad's death has had on my life or how hard it was to go through until I really think about it. I remember a day a few months after he passed away...I was very drained, and sad, and came home and stretched out on my bed and started to cry. The radio was on, and started to play that song. "Ooh, child...things are gonna get easier...ooh, child...things'll get brighter..." Years later, when I was going through my nightmare jobhunt (which I might have previously mentioned once or twice) a friend from the bookstore told me a story to cheer me up...how he worked at WaaWaa (are there too many a's in that?) for years, and became extremely frustrated, and as he drove home, "Ooh Child" came on the radio...

My mom bought me a Des'ree album, and told me to listen to "You Gotta Be" over and over. (Crazy enough, this was also around the time of my dad's death.) When I lost my job in March, and drove home from my train station hysterical crying, I turned on the radio and heard "Listen as your day unfolds...challenge what the future holds..." It's almost as though 106.7 KNEW.

Just tonight, I put on the radio (I had the AM station on from this morning, when I was listening to "Sinatra at Six") and that "Hey Sylvia...yes Mickey...how do you call your lover boy...come here, lover boy"...came on, and I remembered my senior year of high school, and how Dirty Dancing was on television about three or four times a DAY. I especially remember baking muffins on a snowday and watching the movie in my mom's kitchen. WHY was I baking muffins? I apparently went through a muffin period that year. My good friend gave me a muffin cookbook for Christmas, and I found great joy in watching those things rise. My friend and I started planning how we would sing that little song Baby's sister sings in the movie for our school's luau that year. As I said before, I have never claimed to have been a cool child.

Diana Rissetto

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