Monday, July 2, 2007

Delta Burke's Bathrobe

Seriously, who doesn't love Delta Burke? If you weren't moved by tears by the episode of Designing Women when Suzanne was dieting because she wanted to be thin for her high school reunion, went to the high school reunion, was ridiculed for gaining weight, and then met a little starving Ethiopian boy who told her she was beautiful and she realized she was worried because she had TOO much to eat...then you just have no heart at all.

And, she gained my eternal respect several years ago when she was in Thoroughly Modern Millie. She went on Regis and Kelly and said in front of the whole world that Sutton Foster was an amazingly talented woman and that she is somebody everybody that should be a huge star and should know the name of, and not Joe Millionaire and the likes. Right on, Delta Burke. RIGHT ON. We all know my feelings towards Sutton Foster, and Delta Burke immediately became a kindred spirit when I heard her say that.

Four years ago, at the Broadway Flea Market (my favorite day OF the year) Delta Burke was in the celebrity booth. Wouldn't it be funny, I thought, if I got a photo with Delta Burke and put it on my fridge?

(Well, to me, anyway.)

Because then people would come over my house and see my fridge and go, "Is that a picture of Delta Burke and yourself?"

"Yes, it is," I'd say.

So, I got on line and gave a donation to BCEFA and took my picture with Delta Burke.

Delta chewed my ear off.

She stared at my Celtic cross and told me it was beautiful and asked me if I was Irish. She wanted to know if I was an actress, and I told her I was a writer (well, I am). She wanted to know what KIND of writing. She told me I was just lovely. She told me she always dreamed of having a girl just like me play her daughter in a Lifetime movie. (Maybe that's not what she said. Maybe I misunderstood that part.)

The photographer yelled at her to stop talking to me so much.

We were holding up the line.

She put her arm around me and tilted her face against mine and we smiled. It is a lovely photo.

At last year's flea market, I spent lots and lots of money on things I never knew I wanted.

I got an All Shook Up martini shaker. (Shook...shaken...get it?)

An original Fantasticks playbill (from 1960! With Jerry Orbach's name in it! I almost began weeping in the middle of Shubert Alley.)

Masquerade fans from Phantom. (I have an ever-growing collection of odd Phantom memorbilia...including beads from the ORIGINAL CHANDALIER and signed toe slippers.)

A beach towel with this past year's logos on it.

Stuff I needed.

Stuff I really really needed.

And then I saw it.

A Steel Magnolias bathrobe.

Hmmm.

It was only $10. Long, white, soft. How often do you FIND a bathrobe that is only $10?

And then I heard those magic words:

"Delta Burke wore that bathrobe backstage."

SOLD TO THE PSYCHO WITH THE CURLY BROWN HAIR!

A Broadway star wore this as she sat in her dressing room and had her makeup done. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!

And what makes it even MORE awesome is the fact that that Broadway star was the one and only DELTA BURKE!

The only way it could have been better was if it had been worn by Valerie Bertinelli in a Lifetime movie.

I didn't know what I was going to do with this robe.

I thought of washing it in bleach so it was nice and clean and wear it after showers. (But that would involve washing off Delta's blush stains. Delta's essence would be gone.)

I considered blowing up the picture of Delta and myself and framing it and hanging the robe over it.

Or I could just wrap the robe around my clothed self a couple of times and watch Designing Women reruns every night.

Whatever happened to that robe, it just goes to show you how magical the Broadway Flea market is.

One moment, I didn't have Delta Burke's bathrobe. And now, I can't imagine life without it .

I wear my Delta Burke robe often.

Maybe her shoes will be on sale at the next flea market!

Diana Rissetto

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