My sister will be getting married in September.
After she got engaged last year, I was happy for her. (Really!)
She called me at 7:30 AM to tell me, and when I rehashed the story to my friend at work, she said, "Oh, that's awful that she called you so early with news that would make you jealous!"
Why would I be jealous? Why does everybody assume that all girls have "find a husband" on top of their "to-do" lists?
At our first family party "post-my-sister-now has an-engagement-ring", a relative said to my mother (as I stood right there), "One down...one to go!"
It makes me wonder...is getting married the only thing it matters? Is is the one greatest accomplishment in the world? Could you fail at every aspect of life, get married, and be redeemed because getting married is the most important thing in the world?
My mother claims that I shot said relative a "look" after he made his comment. I am sure that I did, because I think it was a very stupid thing to say. It is something you hear all the time, and I wish people would listen to themselves and realize how dumb and insensitive they sound.
"One to go." One to go WHERE? What exactly do you mean by that, Random Relatives? Maybe I'm GOING PLACES. Maybe I'll do sensational things and go senational places. But, alas, none of these things matter unless you have a ring on your left hand, right?
And if a woman never gets married, is she considered a burden on society (or, at least, her family) for the rest of her life?
I remember riding the train home last year, pre-Thanksgiving holiday and it was extremely crowded. I had no room to move my arms around to read or write, so I listened to the guy and girl in front of me talk.
(Like you wouldn't have.)
They were around my age, and didn't know each other, illustrated by them introducing themselves to one another. (Usually a sign that two people do not know each other.) I later recognized the girl from a class I had in college, but had no idea what they looked like the whole ride.
Girl: I have a back-up if I'm not married by 26.
Guy: A back-up? What is this, Friends?
Girl: Yes. I have a back-up. And if that doesn't work out and I'm not married by 30, I am seriously just going to kill myself.
First off, who the heck talks this way to a complete stranger? And she sounded SO SERIOUS. I wanted to just walk over to her and tell her how incredibly idiotic she sounds and that no guy is ever going to want to be within a 10-feet radius of her if she talks like that.
Guy: WHAT? How old are you?
Girl: I'm 24. See, you don't understand. Guys can get married when they're 40. Girls can't. Do you know how pathetic it is for a woman not to be married?
Stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID.
Okay, I am going to be totally honest. I really can't pass a random baby on the street without melting and thinking, "Arghhhhhhhh, when do I get to have one of those?" And yet, I know it's quite far off for me and that I am BY NO MEANS ready to have children right now, as much as I think I'll make a good mother when the time comes.
As for marriage, I'd rather not get married EVER then rush into something with the wrong person because "my time is up". Give me a BREAK, you stupid, random, idiotic girl on the train. Give me a break!
A friend's friend recently announced she is getting a DIVORCE at the ripe old age of 22 and less than 3 months of marriage!
I admit, there were times when I wanted to, you know, change the world before my sister's wedding...then at the reception, everyone would be all, "Hey, Diana...so I hear you're still single...BUT CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT PUTLIZER!" or, "So, HOW many weeks has your book been on the New York Times Bestseller list?" and, of coures, "You looked just beautiful on the cover of ELLE this month!"
But then I realize, "You know what...I'm fine...I'm me...let me never be like that stupid girl on the train."
(Besides, it's just a matter of time before I meet Prince William and we get married, of course.)